I mean this in the nicest way: GET. OUT.

Seriously. Maybe I really am a Vulcan. I did get 95% Star Trek on that Star Trek vs. Star Wars test floating around, but I'm sure that's mere coincidence.

I can't take it anymore. Over the last couple of weeks, I've seen blog after blog from parents who are so incapacitated by nostalgia over their college-age children they are one moment short of throwing themselves to the ground and drawing chalk-lines around themselves.

I'm not going to call these blogs out specifically- you've probably seen them. Maybe you clicked on a couple, like I did. They're emoting about the past: about baby blankets and bedtime stories and puppies and snuggles. And they're whining about the future: when Junior conquers the world I hope he never forgets how he once thought Mommy was the queen of the world! WAAAAAH!

Whether written by the mother of a six-year-old who is torturing herself by fast forwarding her thoughts to that fateful day when her child leaves for college, or written by a parent who really DOES have a child starting college, these sentiments are

driving

me

crazy.

Because stop it.  Really, just freaking stop it.

I'm sure it's going to come as a shock, but there is little I find more irritating than over-sentimentality.

I blame my mother, naturally.

When I was newly engaged, my mother was asked by a gushing but well-intentioned acquaintance, "Can you believe your little baby is about to get married?" I was standing right there and I remember my mom's response. My mom has the worst poker face on the planet, which is also why I have the worst poker face on the planet. I cringed a little upon hearing the question, knowing my mother doesn't "do" the gushy mushy stuff naturally. My mom looked at the woman, knit her eyes quizzically, tilted her head slightly, and said "Of course I can believe it. This is what people do."

Now, this does not make her unfeeling in any way. It doesn't mean she didn't enjoy me as a baby or a tiny person or pre-teen or whatever; I know for a fact that she did. She always says she had six kids because we were all so great she always wanted to add one more. She just understood that if things go the way they are SUPPOSED to go, then kids grow up and do grown-up things and while it is good, even great, it is not surprising and she will not be bubbling over with nostalgia about it. I have still, to this very day, heard her say ONE nostalgic comment about turning back the hands of time. One.

Let me tell you overly sentimental parents who are pining away over the fact that their kids are now (gasp) growing up: this is GOOD. You don't WANT them to be little forever. You don't really want to freeze time. You don't want them to live in your back yard shed forever, even if you make it really nice. I know you know this, but I'm begging you, get a grip.

My oldest, college-age daughter had two knee major knee surgeries over the last five months and was home bound for quite a while, and having a bored 18-year-old with working knees or otherwise stuck at home is NOT GOOD!

She desperately needed to get out there. To go take charge of herself. To have a plan for starting her adult life. To feel empowered by a newfound freedom. To have major responsibilities outside of her nuclear family.

Now, maybe I have it a little easier than some parents because my college-age daughter is still living at home for the first year or two. I lived at home all through college, so I have my mom's lead to follow on this, too. And that is, that just because she's here, she's also not really here the way she used to be. I STILL have to let her put her college and job obligations as a main priority in her life, and I can't presume that she'll have the same degree of availability to us that she used to.

She started classes today and sounded happier than I have heard her sound in a long time. She went to a college she picked herself. Over the summer, she landed multiple scholarships without our input or help with the paperwork. She got an on-campus job TODAY, literally on day one of her college career, and managed to work it into long spaces between her classes. She did this all by herself. I am not only NOT crying that she didn't need me to do any of this, but I am thrilled to my bones that she did this WITHOUT me. This is not something I saw her doing a while back. She was not a terribly internally motivated student and she struggled immensely in high school. So no, independence is not something that came easy for her. But SHE worked it out. All we did was NOT do it for her.

My mom, my oldest daughter, and me, at my daughter's high school graduation. My mom was her theology teacher.

Yes. She was an adorable baby. Hilarious. Mischievous. She was a nutty toddler and a headstrong preschooler. She was a brilliant reader and if Hogwarts was real she'd have left seven years ago already. She was a difficult but fabulous but stubborn teenager. The sun set and rose and the world kept turning, so now she's 18 and in college. It's what should happen.

My tiny baby, on our home planet, Vulcan. She grew up. She's going to college. It's logical.

Someone asked her if she was scared to start college today. She said something like: "Are you kidding? I need this! I can't wait!"

No wahhh wahhh wahhhing from anyone over here.

In the nicest way possible, it was time for her to GET. OUT.  Yes she still lives with us, so maybe for us it's more like, GET OUT ENOUGH FOR IT TO COUNT. And if today is any indicator, it counts and she is going to do JUST fine.

As for me, I have fifteen more years in the slammer of parenting her younger siblings to look forward to, and how great will it be when each of them is ready to chart their own courses.

So parents, pull yourselves together! If you have a kid going off to college, great! Way to go! Get out of their way! If you have an 6-year-old and you're already consoling yourself over how hard it will be when they're grown up, knock it off and go watch cartoons with your kid.